Holy Holiday! Dogs with Thumbs?

Yesterday was "If Pets Had Thumbs" day, according to the Bizarre and Wacky Holiday Website.  Imagine if Wolf had thumbs.  I'd have to buy cheese everyday as he would be opening the refrigerator door and eating all the cheese (and hummus and yogurt veggie dip and any meat he could find).  Soon, however Wolf would be so fat he'd be unable to get up and reach the handle so that would not go on forever.   

If Wolf had thumbs I would not have to let him out in the yard, or back inside.  I might have to figure out a way to keep him from going on his own walks around the block, though.  He doesn't really hear cars or see well enough or have enough good sense to stay out of the street when vehicles approach.  That's why he would need a human even if he had thumbs. 

He could, however, clean up his doings and put them in a bag and put the bag in the garbage all by himself.  That would be nice.

He might be able to mow the grass in the summer, too, or at least help out with leaf raking in the fall.

But if he had thumbs and jobs to do, he would probably lose touch with some of his zen-master qualities.  So that wouldn't be a very good exchange at all for anyone. 

Today, on the same goofy website, is Holy Experiment Day.  I think they have in mind that we petition God for something we want, then see what happens.  Oh please,  Give me a break!  There I prayed to God for a break from people suggesting that I pray for something.  Perhaps it's Holy Irony Day, too and they forgot to mention that.  I wonder what Wolf would pray for....oh that's right....cheese!