The Hummuser

It slices, it dices, it makes Julliene Fries! Announcing the all new HUMMER model: the HUMMUSER. Originally, the High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle could only transport people and things from place to place, climb trees, and double as a bullet proof vest. But now, the NEW HUMMUSER, available only through Macy's Housewares Department and at The Garlic Press, is TRULY Multipurposeful.

The standard vehicle is equipped with the greatest variety of kitchen gadgets known to humankind: choppers, dicers, blenders, presses, slotted spoons, pressure cookers, double boilers, corkscrews, cake decorators, can openers, bread-makers, and rotisseries, all available at the push of a button on the dashboard. Heat from the engine is recycled for warming, cooking, defrosting. Instead of an odometer, a calorie counter. No longer will you need to go home to prepare a gourmet meal, it can be ready at the end of the workday commute. And it runs on it's own biodiesel fuel waste-products. You will recuperate the original cost of the vehicle in about 2 or 3 generations on savings in gas alone!

The HUMMUSER is also available with optional ice cream maker, a microbrewery in the rear compartment, and an herb garden on the roof.

Don't just drive a vehicle, drive a HUMMUSER.