Yellow Alert

This morning Sisi came out of the upstairs room we use as a guest room/TV room and declared "Some Guys have taken over All the TV Stations!!"  Fearing terrorist (or Tea Party) attack on the media, I dashed upstairs.  As it turns out, she just couldn't get the channel changer to work quite right and needed help to get to the PBS station she watches in the morning.

Whew, glad I was able to return us to a normal state of viewing Martha Speaks.

Which, by the way, is a great kids cartoon about a talking dog.  Martha, the dog, eats alphabet soup and it goes to her brain and she is able to talk.  In English.  Except once when she is kidnapped by a bad guy who gives her Polish Alphabet soup and then she speaks Polish. 

The boy has begun the phase of childhood now known as "I'm Reading Harry Potter."  He says he is addicted.  True?  Or just an excuse to try to stay up later at night.  Who knows.  Still, any phase that begins "I'm Reading..." is probably a good one.  Is it true there are seven long books?  Momma like.

I am reading The Geography of Bliss for my next book group.  I am only through the first couple of chapters, but every time I read one of these "I was a journalist and then I decided to write books so I got someone to pay me to travel around the world so I could write a book..."  I want to bang my head against a wall and scream "Why Didn't I Become a Journalist???"

So far I have not really ever done that.  I might bang the book against the wall, or my head, or whisper the words in an irritated voice..oh, wait, I love my job.  Never mind.  In fact, I really love my job.  And I do get paid to travel.  Yes, I travel to Pontiac and Lincoln and Hopedale and Farmer City.  The Paris and Milan of Illinois, for sure.

Confucius Say

It's Confucius Day, September 29th.   Every year on the same day, there is a chance to honor the Chinese philosopher who really did, apparently, according to Wikipedia, say Do not treat others in a way you would not like to be treated yourself.   I call that the double negative golden rule.  It would be bad not to follow that advice.

The current day legacy of Confucius is, of course, the Confucius Say jokes.  Here is one:

Confucius say:  Man who live in glass house should change clothes in the basement.

And so on.  I think we are done now with Mr. Confucius.

On to the next topic today, baseball.  The regular season ended yesterday.  The playoffs start Friday.  I won't be watching them because they are on TBS which is not on my basic cable plan.  I actually considered adding to my plan so I could watch the playoffs, but the only team I care about is "whoever is playing the damn Yankees"...yes, I will be rooting for the Detroit Tigers this next week. 

Of course if I did get expanded cable then I could watch even more sporting events on a regular basis.  I suppose I should stop by the Comcast office and see how much that would cost.  Confucius say,  Money can't buy happiness but it can get you TBS and ESPN and every Cubs game next year.

Oh, yes, next year...

My Pastors Teach Me A New Word

The kids are at their dad's this morning and there was not going to be a word of the day.  Oh woe.  But last night, while working on next year's church budget, Susan and Bob gifted me a wonderful new word.  If you are shy and don't like body part words then don't read ahead.  Oh, wait, you'd already have quit reading this blog long ago, so dear Gentle Readers, read on without fear.  Unless of course you are just stumbling upon this blog thinking, based on the title, it might be a word like Ecumenical, or Interfaith, or a new word for Stewardship, or some such thing that normal Normal pastors might offer to their church treasurers.

But that would be because you do not know Susan and Bob.

Of course, if you've seen Monsters vs. Aliens, you might think...oh, Susan and Bob...

That of course, is B.O.B.  the indestructible gelatinous mass.

while Susan is just...accidentally very tall.  Ok, she is really ginormous.  Which may not be a word.

But, no MY Susan and Bob are regular size, non-gelatinous human beings.  And they recently came across a word that means "the penis of an animal."  If you know this word, you know it will only help you in Scrabble if you have the Z and  a blank tile.  The word is pizzle.

Now, how did two non-gelatinous normal-sized Normal pastors find this word?  Through their search for dog-training toys.  It appears to be an ingredient in one.  Or so they claimed.  Honestly, in between figuring out how much we need to budget for postage and coffee next year (God's work can be very difficult!), I thought perhaps they had just made it up to keep me entertained.  But no, the word is even in the big red dictionary.   

So there you have it.  I think I will not teach J-dude to spell this word.  Or say it.  Or it's meaning.  I think a mom should have a few secrets of her own.

Words of the Days

Since I discovered that J-dude does not know how to spell words that could get him into trouble on Google, and since I have password-locked my laptop to keep hiim from Googling anything at all, I have decided that we, as a family, will be having a WORD of the DAY.

By the way, my son has received straight A's in Spelling every year in school.  I guess bubs was not on the list.  Hmmm.  That's probably Laura Bush's fault.

Yesterday I asked J-dude to pick a letter of the alphabet.  He selected K.  I took the big red dictionary and opened it to the K section.  Looking randomly for an unfamiliar, but not too long, word, I settled on the word keck.  In all honesty I had never heard of the word.  I read:  retch.  Oh boy, a word a 10-year old boy can really use!  So know he knows that, in his own words, "keck and retch mean  to barf."  And he can spell them. 

Today he is looking up the word.  At first he wanted to look up the word ballsy but I gave him permission to do that and that took the fun away, so he has now settled on the word/s Digger (an Indian tribe in the southwest) and digger as in the digger wasp. 

Now he is browsing the dictionary because he realizes...words of the days are a lot of fun.

Now that's my boy.

Happy Birthday

It's my dad's 80th birthday today.  Happy birthday Dad!

I love you!

Courage

Watching The Wizard of Oz for the 6391st time, or thereabouts, I discovered a new "favorite" line.  Everytime I watch it I have a new favorite line...well, maybe not every time, because for years my favorite line was "The hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the square root of the sum of the squares of the two other sides...Oh Joy!  Rapture!"  but now my favorite line is from the Cowardly Lion's speech about courage.  And the new winner is:

What puts the Ape in Apricot?  Courage!

Five Hundred

This is my 500th blog posting!  Happy 500 to me!

This Saturday morning I am watching The Wizard of Oz with Sisi. It's fun to watch an old familiar film through new eyes, and clever observant eyes at that.  (For example:  Mom, look, that shot was shown from the point of view of the witch!)  Also Sisi claims the Munchkinland set was used in the making of The Grinch.  All those DVD Special Features sections must be sticking.

Also this Saturday morning I have discovered that it is time to lock my computer access with a password.  This because when I got up this morning, I found my laptop in the guest room with a sleeping boy, downloading a football game that he had been told specifically not to download in the recent past.  That was bad enough, but I also saw that he had been googling the phrase "naked bubs."  Oh boy.  Thank goodness for bad spelling moments.

He's still  asleep, password has been applied, and now I just have to teach him how to spell that word correctly.

Have a great day, count your blessings, and if you feel lost then Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

Fall is Officially Here

 Finally the beginning of my faaaavorite season!  Last year I blogged about fall. This year I blog about fall.  Next year I will blog about fall.  There I conjugated To Blog About Fall....my new favorite verb.

I don't have any wonderful fall photos to post.  Yet.  But driving home from Ohio I saw the beginnings of color in the trees along the roads that were not just yellow-brown leaves from too little rain.  It did my heart good to see a few orange-red-yellow combinations as I zoomed by at seventy.  Wishing I had time to stop and look a little more.  Here at home not much is changing yet, but I know that it won't be long.

Every year I hope for a long fall with cool nights and sunny days.  The kids reminded me that we can start using the firepit now that the nights aren't too derned hot, to roast weenies and marshmallows.

Speaking of weenies, on the way home from Ohio I got off the interstate in some little town just the far side of the Indiana border and had lunch at a place called Dreamy Weenie.  I kid you not!  If you doubt me, well you can check them out on Facebook!  Ha!

I don't check places out on Facebook myself, but since I heard the Egyptian Army is using Facebook to communicate with the populace of that country, I am rethinking that.  Where else can you get updates about a revolution and look for a restaurant in Ohio called Dreamy Weenie?

Appreciation

Today is Elephant Appreciation Day!  Thank you elephants for all you have done for me!  I so appreciate it.  I just can't remember what it is. 

Elephants apparently like to eat pumpkins whole.  You can find videos of them doing that on you-tube.  Yawn.

In more exciting news I discovered that McLean County has a roller derby team.  They are called The Miss Fits.  This Saturday they are skating in a tournament at the Coliseum in downtown Bloomington against teams from Peoria and Decatur.  Every time they have a bout or tournament the money goes to a specific charity, and this week it's going to Habitat for Humanity.  Now there is something to appreciate!

My book group met last night on Susan and Bob's deck.  I appreciated the conversation, the food, the wine, and the weather.  I appreciate my book group more than I appreciate elephants.  Perhaps in the middle of Hummus Month (whenever it gets established, ahem) I will place Book Group Appreciation Week.  Perhaps I should just start my own danged calendar website.  2012...The Year of The Garbanzo!

Perhaps I could work Chick Pea or Garbanzo into my roller-derby-girl name.  I would certainly appreciate any suggestions in that regard.

Holy Rollers

It's been a while Gentle Readers.  I won't belabor the reasons, er... excuses...but get right to the heart of today's blog topic.  Roller Derby!
I first got interested in derby after watching the film Whip It, which I have now seen 3 times.  If you haven't seen it you should go rent it right now and watch it.  Especially if you have a daughter.  Or if you've been one.  Or know one.  After you watch it, don't skip the credits or you will miss the outtakes which are wonderful.

This past weekend while visiting The Player we went to a roller derby bout.  The local team, The Rubber City Roller Girls was skating against the Kentucky Black-and-Bluegrass.  Those Kentucky girls were big and tough.  The first bout, between the "b" teams, ended in an exciting come-from-behind victory by the Roller Girls.  After a short break, the "a" teams began their bout.  Oh it got nasty.  We had to leave before the end, when apparently a fight broke out.  Expletives were heard.  It was not a good way to end the season for the Roller Girls.  They lost by some lop-sided score and then had to publicly apologize to their fans on their website for the fight.  Because Roller Derby is family entertainment. 

I think any woman who has ever had PMS even for a couple of minutes would understand the attraction of roller derby.  As long as you keep your elbows and hands off the other person, don't pass outside the boundaries, and don't trip them, well you can push and shove and bump some other people around to your hearts content.  In fact you are supposed to do that. 

I wish I could roller skate.

And I wish I had a great roller derby name.  Like Maul-i-bu Barbie, the star jammer of the Roller Girls.  Or like Stella Bruise, another RG jammer who by day is a pretty blond woman that works with The Player at the gallery.   Or Babe Ruthless, the star of Whip It. 

Here is a clip of the a team's bout on Saturday night.  If you listen all the way to the end, you might hear my laugh.

The Bleacher Bums

First, and most important, of course, the Cubs won.  They won 4-3 in 8 1/2 innings.  Matt Garza pitched 7 2/3 innings.  Russell finished the 8th inning handily, and Carlos Marmol, as a special favor to me, got throught the top of the 9th 1-2-3 and that was it.  We got to stand up and dance and sing "Go Cubs, Go" since they actually really and truly won the game. 

We also got to sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame, and we got to dance to YMCA. 

There was a brief humorous attempt by the right field bums to start the wave.  The left field bums held up their sign that says "No Wave at Wrigley."  There was some "left field s*%#s" and "right field s*%#s" chanting.  We refrained from vulgarity since we were seated smack dab in the center field bleachers.

The Cubs had 8 hits and the Reds had 5.  Garza struck out 8 batters, gave up 2 walks, and only 1 of the Reds runs was earned.  How do I know all this?  Because J-dude and I kept a scorecard:

See, there it is in my hands, and J-dude is biting his nails like a true Cubs fan. Here's our mostly complete and very very messy scorecard:

We loved the Bleachers.  Sisi made a mailbox out of the cardboard container that held her hot-dog. 

So the $7.50 included not only a foot-long hot dog for 2 kids to share, but also art supplies.  Thank goodness, otherwise I'd have thought we were getting ripped off.

Nope, as it turns out the Mastercard commercials are right.  Taking your honey and your kids to the ballgame:  Priceless. 

Smurf Salad

Yesterday while I was grilling burgers and cooking potatoes, Sisi decided to make our salad.  She used grated apples, banana slices, celery, carrots, and a few nasturtiums.  She is a very creative cook, and here is what the final product looked like:

It was delicious, too!

Today we are heading to Chicago to see the Cubs play the Cincinnati Reds.  The game is on WGN so watch for us in the bleachers.   Happy Labor Day, Gentle Readers!

One Ringy Dingy

According to the Wacky Holiday Website it is Emma M. Nutt Day...celebrating the life of the first female telephone operator!  Supposedly Emma had a sense of humor and used to tell people she was glad her first name was not Imma...

Well, here's a little youtube video of another funny operator we all know and love.

I love women who snort when they laugh, maybe Lily is the reason why!